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Who Was There?
According to Moonalice legend, the tribe had a long tradition of identifying and caring for unusual species found in nature. In the days before statehood, Alaska was an altered state that was particularly conducive the discovery of funny critters. For example, Moonalice tribe members discovered that the altered state bird of Alaska was the Common Rhino Puffin, an elusive and barely airworthy seabird with a gnarly horn in the middle of its forehead. The Rhino Puffin's numbers were devastated after 9/11 because of a government crackdown on its violent relative, the Jihadi Rhino Puffin. With several ounces of plastic explosive strapped to its chest, the Jihadi Rhino Puffin terrorized sea life in the Bering Strait, blowing itself up whenever it encountered a school of fish. Despite visible differences, government agents waged puffinocide, making no effort to distinguish between the violent Jihadis and the gentle Common Rhino Puffin. The government-sanctioned massacre depleted the species to the point of extinction. While no Rhino Puffins have yet been sighted on this Moonalice tour, the band did stop off to visit our old friends at Glacier Radio, KEUL in Girdwood. For the third time in three years the band had great difficulty finding the studio. While KEUL claims that the problem is with Roadkill Moonalice's navigation, the band knows the real story: the former radio pirates at KEUL have at least three identical studios in different parts of Girdwood.